By: Judy W.

I can’t sit here and say I’ve never envied someone.  Have I ever responded to it negatively?  That’s the question.   Let me back up, though.  Lemme just K-Dot this thing on out…I envy people who had their mom with them at least to adulthood.  I envy creatives who have had supportive parents and immediate family.  That shit tends to work out better in the long run. When it comes to their success anyway.  One could argue that it’s almost imminent.  I envy people who aren’t struggling month to month trying to pay their bills.  I envy those who have been believing in themselves since they were kids. Hell, I envy people who get 2-300 plus likes on social media posts. Makes me wonder just how unlikable I am on social media.  Then I realize, something ain’t right with that because I’m super likable in real life.  Just because I have that envy occasionally, doesn’t mean I’d treat the haves negatively.  Whose fault is it that they’re winning and it feels like I’m losing?  I have a huge responsibility,  but now I don’t know if God gave it to me or I just made it up cuz I knew I could sing and always wanted to be a star. I’m lost, and confused, but I’ll never give up on myself.

Writing has to be it.  It’s going to have to be my therapy cuz right now, we can’t afford a therapist.   All I know to do is meditate, exercise, sing, and write. Yeah, that’s it.  As far as my feelings of envy, I pray them away as it’s not who I am. It’s just my insecurities.